Welcoming Trans and Non-Binary People at Work
The number-one tip for supporting a trans or a non-binary colleague is just to do what you do for everyone else, to the best of your ability (understanding that it can take time to get it right): Call them by their names, say their pronouns, use the words they use for themselves, and use other words (or not), as needed, based on what they have already shared with you. Do this without drama or overemphasis, even if you’re hyper-aware of what you are saying, at first. And when you make a mistake—and you will—just say sorry, rephrase, and move on with no drama. That’s it.
You don’t have to understand someone’s identity to respect it. Some people haven’t heard a lot about transgender identity, or have trouble understanding what it means to be trans, and that’s okay. But all people, even those whose identities you don’t fully understand, deserve respect.
There is no “one right way” to be transgender. Some transgender people choose to medically transition, and some don’t. Some transgender people choose to legally change their names or ID documents, and some don’t. Some transgender people choose to change their appearance (like their clothing or hair), and some don’t. Likewise, some transgender people may want to do many of those things but are unable to because they can’t afford it or for safety reasons.
Use the language a transgender/non-binary person uses for themselves. No two transgender people are exactly the same, and different transgender people may use different words to describe themselves. You should follow the lead of each transgender person, as they will best know the language that is right for them.
If you don’t know what pronouns to use, ask. A simple way to see what pronouns someone uses—he, she, they, or something else—is to wait and see if it comes up naturally in conversation. If you’re still unsure, ask politely and respectfully, without making a big deal about it. Sharing your own pronouns is a great way to bring up the topic—for example, “Hi, I’m Rebecca and I use she/her/hers as my pronouns. How about you?” If you accidentally use the wrong pronouns, apologize and move on. Making a big deal out of a pronoun mistake may be awkward and often draws unwanted attention to the transgender person.
Be careful and considerate about what other questions you ask. There are many topics—medical transition, life pre-transition, sexual activity—that you may be curious about. That doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to ask a transgender person about them, or expect a transgender person to be comfortable sharing intimate details about themselves. There are two questions you can ask yourself that may help determine if a topic is appropriate to bring up:
“Do I need to know this information to treat them respectfully?” Asking someone’s name and pronoun is almost always appropriate, as we use that information in talking to and about each other every day.
“Would I be comfortable if this question was turned around and asked of me?” Another good way to determine if a question is appropriate is to think about how it would feel if someone asked you something similar.
Someone’s transgender identity is their private information to share, or not. Just because someone has told you that they are transgender does not necessarily mean that they have told everyone in their life for various reasons. Simply because a transgender person has told you something about their experiences doesn’t mean they want everyone to know.
Avoid compliments or advice based on stereotypes about transgender people, or about how men and women should look or act. People sometimes intend to be supportive but unintentionally hurt transgender people by focusing on their looks or whether they conform to gender stereotypes.
Be careful about confidentiality, disclosure, and "outing." Do you regularly greet groups by saying, “Ladies and gentlemen?” Do you have a co-worker who refers to everyone as “guys?”
Don't ask a transgender person what their "real name" is.
For some transgender people, being associated with their birth name is a tremendous source of anxiety, or it is simply a part of their life they wish to leave behind. Respect the name a transgender person is currently using. If you happen to know the name someone was given at birth but no longer uses, don't share it without the person's explicit permission. Similarly, don't share photos of someone from before their transition, unless you have their permission.
Challenge anti-transgender remarks or jokes.
If someone says something that would make a trans or non-binary person feel uncomfortable, point it out calmly and move on.
At meetings and events, set an inclusive tone.
In a group setting, identify people by articles of clothing instead of using gendered language. For example, the "person in the blue shirt," instead of the "woman in the front."
Definitions of Key Terms
Trans or Transgender
An umbrella term to describe people whose gender is not the same as or does not sit comfortably with the sex they were assigned at birth.
Non-binary
Most people – including most transgender people – are either male or female. But some people don't neatly fit into the categories of "man" or "woman," or “male” or “female.” People whose gender is not male or female use many different terms to describe themselves, with non-binary being one of the most common. Other terms include genderqueer, agender, bigender, and more.
Transitioning
The steps a trans person may take to live in the gender they identify with. This may involve medical treatment for some people such as hormone therapy or surgery etc. but not all trans people will want or be able to have this. Transitioning also might involve things such as telling friends and/or family, dressing differently and changing official documents.
Cis or cisgender
Someone whose gender identity is the same as the sex they were assigned at birth. Non-trans is also used by some people.
Deadnaming
Calling someone by their birth name after they have changed their name. This term is often associated with trans people who have changed their name as part of their transition.
Misgendering
Referring to a trans person using a pronoun or other forms of address that does not correctly reflect the gender with which they identify.
Gender Non-Conforming
Gender non-conforming people have, or are perceived to have, gender characteristics and/or behaviours that do not conform to traditional or societal expectations.
What the Community Says:
Creating safe internal networks allowing trans/nb people to connect. Obviously this is hard if you haven't hired many such people, but hopefully you can at least create a welcoming LGBTQ+ group. Be clear if it is a space for allies as well, or consider having two forums (with/without allies). Make sure you have feedback processes in place from any such group so they are heard, having input to how the group runs, how the studio runs, and even how your game is made. Have budget for these groups to undertake activities (e.g. group lunches, studio events). Make sure any internal women's group feels inclusive. Pronouns can be built into your tools e.g. Slack or Outlook signatures - encourage your whole company to engage with this. Workplaces should be vocal on social media and their marketing of their support, this will reduce apprehension before joining. Hold regular diversity and unconscious bias training for all staff (including trans specific training) and be vocal about its importance.
[get] hired more. Hard to want to be out when on an incredibly non-diverse team. It's the whole ... role model/safety net thing, right?
Important: This article has been compiled by a cis gendered person, so there might be biases or inaccuracies. If you do spot any, feel free to let us know at hello@pixall.org
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